This post is written with the specific intent of being posted on Facebook.
Let me be very clear from the start. I am in favor of gay marriage, and if you do
not like it, then you have a choice to make.
You can state your opposition, you can remain silent, or you can simply
stop being my friend. Here's why:
1) Gay marriage is
not about a feeling to everyone. For
some of us (most importantly gay men and women) it is about civil rights. It is about the 9th Amendment and the 14th
Amendment. If you choose to ignore those
parts of The Constitution then you must at the very least accept you are in
favor of legalizing discrimination. It
is discrimination just like it was discrimination to limit the rights of
African-Americans. And before you go
there about choice versus nature, you know you are not going to get anywhere
with that. If homosexuality were a
matter of choice, it would still be discrimination. How?
Criminals make choices we don't agree with, and they are still afforded
marriage rights. There are approximately 1400 Federal and state laws regarding
marriage, which ignore or are written to be prejudicial against so-called civil
unions, partnerships, and common law relationships. What other 'feelings' present such a wide
range of discriminatory laws? Further along the spectrum you must also accept
the contradictory nature of religion in the U.S. More specifically, I will ask you a question
to illustrate my point.
Why is it okay to erode the separation of church and state
(in order to promote your religious philosophy) which would limit the rights of
people with views in conflict of your own, but at the same time be wrong to
expect religious organizations to pay taxes and adhere to a single, specific
interpretation of religious values? Of
course you know the answer. The first
Amendment states no laws be enacted to discriminate against religious
beliefs. It also states by way of legal
reciprocity that religions cannot dictate laws in the civil realm.
2) Gay marriage does
not interfere with your ability to practice your religion or your life in any
way. How many people have been displaced
because of gay marriage? How many people
have divorced or found themselves unwilling to marry in states where gay
marriage is allowed? How many churches
have been destroyed because of gay marriage?
There has not been one single piece of evidence to prove any
heterosexual person or couple who has suffered because of a gay marriage. And don't give me that old, "My cousin .
. ." , or "My friend in Kansas . . ." bullshit, either. That old standby is pure myth and is all too
often linked to purely fictitious propaganda.
3) Your values are
YOUR values, and in matters of civil rights, have no place in the discussion.
I am not going to change your mind, and you are not going to
change mine. Too many people who are
against gay marriage continually bring up their "feelings" and
feelings tend to be immutable. Opponents
to gay marriage do not rely upon facts or legal issues. They base their opinion on religious texts
and incorrectly assume several things
a)They
assume the Bible is meant to be taken literally, when the literal
interpretation of the Bible is a 19th Century convention.
b)They
cherry pick the arguments they want to make and say those parts of the Bible
are meant to be lasting while other laws of Leviticus are simply guidelines
relevant only to the Ancient Israelites, which is obviously hypocritical.
c) They
assume everyone should accept and follow the same interpretation of the Bible,
which is virtually impossible and contradictory to the Constitution.
d) They
assume the Bible should continue to be the basis for law in this nation, which
is not only secular in nature, but is the very model of secular humanism from
the period of Enlightenment, where people all around the world dreamed of a
nation unfettered by the reach of religion.
This point is important because the vast majority of Christians believe
the U.S. was founded by the auspice of God.
It cannot be both a secular nation to protect religious freedom AND a
godless nation in need of religious rule.
4) I am sick and
tired of people saying they don't "hate" anyone. Well, my wife said it best when she said,
"You may not hate anyone, but you certainly don't like gay
people." That's the truth. I am just extremely tired of people trying to
justify their bigotry with their version of theology and rhetoric. I get it.
You are opposed to gay marriage and you want us all to believe there is
no hate in your hearts or minds when you support discrimination on this level and
remain silent when it comes to gay bashing and violence against gays. I get it.
We all get it. I'm just not
buying it. Go sell it somewhere
else. Go sing it on the mountain, for
all I care. Just don't pester me with
that idiotic justification any more. The simple truth as I see it is you are not in favor of some people having the opportunity to share their lives in a marriage and be equal to you. Privately you can believe that, but in a pluralistic nation such as ours, your personal views should not be allowed to interfere with the rights of others.
I am standing my ground, so you have a choice to make. I will accept every choice you do make, but
you need to stop insisting I accept your arguments because there is nothing
left to argue in my mind. Accept my
position (and all of its implications); reject my opinion and my arguments; say
something or remain silent; decide to end our friendship. It's your move, and I don't care if you think
I am being ignorant or passive aggressive.
This is my position and I am not moving from it.
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